In the Qur’aan e Majeed it is mentioned that Allah Ta’ala has made the home of a believer a place of peace and tranquillity. Thus we understand that among the etiquettes of a Muslim home is that members of the household refrain from doing anything that destroys the peace and tranquillity. This includes thoughtless and loud disturbing speech.

On one occasion Sayyidunah Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) stopped the Sahaabah (Radi Allahu Anhu) from even reciting the Qur’aan in a very loud tone in the event that it may disturb others.

It is mentioned in a Hadith that “A Muslim is he, who other Muslims are safe from the harms of his tongue and his hands”. People living in the same house are more than neighbours and more than just friends. Therefore, it is imperative that they should not hurt one another in any way. Among the most annoying and hurtful behaviour is making noise at home or raising one’s voice so loudly that it distresses others. Allah Ta’ala mentions in the Qur’aan about the qualities of His close servants that when they walk, they walk softly and silently so that they do not disturb others with the sound of their feet.

Someone once mentioned to Hadhrat Maseehullah (RA) that if the members of the household are not scolded for disciplinary reasons then they will become bolder to create more mischief. Hadhrat (RA) replied that in such circumstances scolding for disciplinary reasons is necessary – but only if one knows how to scold. For things have to be borne in mind if one has to discipline or scold someone. Firstly the disciplinarian has to maintain complete composure. He should not be overcome by anger and shout in an uncouth, ill-mannered way. Secondly the person scolded should never be sworn at. Thirdly the harm caused by the fault of mischief should be pointed out and fourthly the correct course of action or behaviour and its benefits should be pointed out. This manner of scolding or disciplining will indicate that no malice is intended and, therefore would be readily accepted. This was Hadhrat Maseehullah (R.A.) sage advice and tareeqat of instructions.

The womenfolk, especially, should be extra careful when speaking. Speaking in a loud tone shows a lack of self-respect and modesty in women. If due to some necessity she has to raise her voice then she should be careful not to talk in a seductive tone. Rather her speech should be short but not sweet.

Allah Ta’ala has mentioned in the Qur’aan e Majeed addressing the women:

“Do not be soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease [of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery] should be moved with desire...” (Quran 33:32)

It should be noted that Islaam demands a very high standard of Hayaa from males and females. The complete segregation of males and females is strongly emphasised. Hence exposition of the female voice has also been regulated in the Qur'aan-e-Kareem in order to maintain the level of hayaa that is demanded by Islaam.

Those who have females in the house should teach them not to speak in such loud tones whereby guests or neighbours who are ghair mahram may hear their voices. The danger here is two fold. The speaker will be guilty of sinning and the listener may be lead to wrongful thoughts or actions.

At times we switch on the radio forcing the entire neighbourhood to hear what we are listening to or we tend to read or sing in such loud voices that disturbs others around us. Furthermore, sometimes people at home argue and yell at each other to such an extent that the entire neighbourhood hears them. Such acts would obviously be regarded as ungracious and ill mannered.

At times children can be heard crying whilst their parents are not in the least concerned about them. They continue chatting over the phone or go on with their mundane work totally ignoring their children.

Keep the following points in mind:

1. If there are guests at home and a female has to call the attention of any man of the household, she should rather knock on the door instead of calling out for him. In this manner she will be able to serve her guests as well as protect her hayaa and shame. Indeed, this is a great form of modesty. In the same way if she has to answer the phone then her speech should be restricted to bare necessity. She should also not speak in sweet or alluring tones.
2. If someone knocks at the door or rings the bell, the men in the house should answer. If there are no men at home, only then should the women answer from behind the purdah by speaking as little as possible without using alluring tones.
3. Always be considerate to one’s neighbours. Remember the rights that Allah Ta'ala has prescribed for them. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) has described a person who has caused harm to his neighbours to be bereft of Imaan.
4. Do not turn on radios or tape-recorder so loudly that they disturb others.
5. Tend to children immediately when they are in need of attention.

Many villagers from the Banu Tameem used to visit Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). Being villagers they were unaware of any aadaab and etiquettes. They would stand outside the room of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) and shout for him. Allah Ta’ala revealed the aayaat, “O ye who believe! Raise not your voices above the voice of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), nor speak aloud to Him in talk, as you may speak aloud to one another.”

After this aayah was revealed, Hadhrat Abu Bakar (Radi Allahu Anhu) always spoke to Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) in such a manner as though he was whispering to him. Hadhrat Umar (Radi Allahu Anhu) would speak so softly that at times he was asked to repeat himself. Hadhrat Saabit bin Qais (Radi Allahu Anhu) who naturally had a loud voice became extremely perturbed when he heard this ayah. He cried profusely and thereafter made a concerted effort to speak in a soft tone.

May Allah Ta'ala give us the taufeeq of following in the footsteps of the noble Sahaabah (Radi Allahu Anhu). Aameen.